Road Rage

de Your Favorite Martian

I never cried once
Not even at a funeral
Counting to infinity, do the undoable
I bite into vitamins, when they ain't even chewable
Looking in the mirror like: Damn! You is beautiful!
That's why when I walk in the strip club and all the strippers starts tipping me
I got so many girls, they accusing me of polygamy
I got grandmamas trying to hit me up all the damn time, asking me if I can send a nude through a land line

Can't nobody get ahead of us
I've done so many mothers
Everyone calls me Oedipus

I am very badass
Ladies in line all waiting to smash
Being badass since I was a kid
Lost my virginity before my dad did!

I am very badass
Even in my sleep I'm ready to scrap
I throw down with anyone on the street
I don't dodge bullets, bullets dodge me

That's why I flow like a butterfly sting like chlamydia
They show me Thor's hammer and said I couldn't pick it up
I said: " Nah ain't even gonna try man
'Cause that pathetic hammer ain't worthy enough for my hand! "

Who's Strong enough to punch a polar bear in the jar?
Who's Strong enough to drink peanut butter through a straw?
Who's Strong enough to Chick-fil-A on a Sunday?
I could probably whoop the whole country!

Can't nobody ever come at me
'Cause if a zombie bites me
It becomes one of me

I am very badass
Ladies in line all waiting to smash
Being badass since I was a kid
Lost my virginity before my dad did!

I am very badass
Even in my sleep I'm ready to scrap
I throw down with anyone on the street
I don't dodge bullets, bullets dodge me

This is gangster shit
'Cause I'm a gangster dude
I live a gangster life
I eat gangster food
I got gangster strength
In my gangster veins
And when I step on a Lego, huh, it feels pain!

Switch it up!
And I don't flinch when I eat up those ghost peppers like breath mints
Can't go to a nunery cos they all end up pregnant
Goku is bowing down to me cos I'm dominant
Guess how many push-ups I can do?
All of them!

I am very badass
Ladies in line all waiting to smash
Being badass since I was a kid
Lost my virginity before my dad did!

I am very badass
Even in my sleep I'm ready to scrap
I throw down with anyone on the street
And I don't dodge bullets, bullets dodge me!