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Date Myself

de Your Favorite Martian

It was a weekend, and you can't stop
Us from going to the local dance spot
Instead of drinking imported beers
Somebody brought a bottle of Orphan Tears

We popped the top. We know what was in it
Yeah, we were all so stupid to sip it
Orphan Tears are hallucinogenic
I took one sip and saw a two-headed midget

Then the room filled with colors and shapes
And suddenly DeeJay was covered in snakes
Oh snap! And what made it worse
Is I swear I saw a unicorn humping a smurf

Then a rainbow appeared out of Wax's ass
He passed some gas and it snapped in half
Yo Deejay! Are you still there?
Yeah, I'm trying to hook up with this girl in a wheelchair

Alright. Chill there. I think a bulimic
Carebear might pick a fight with Jesus
I don't believe it. I'm gonna be sea sick
These Orphan Tears are about to make me trip

Little children, near and far
Don't know where your parents are
Cry directly in this jar
I will drink it at the bar
Sip sippin' on Orphan Tears
Sip sip sippin' on Orphan Tears
Sip sippin' on Orphan Tears
Sip sip sippin' on Orphan Tears

These Orphan Tears got me feeling like I ain't felt before
I tried to bust-a-move but fell asleep on the dance floor
(DeeJay falls asleep and snores)
I swear I saw Bill Cosby like: Hello with the pudding!
He was dancing in his underwear showing off his woody

I ran to the bathroom. Everything is in slow mo
I couldn't throw up, because the toilet bowl called me a homo
I barfed up a kitten, and I'm feeling strange
Sippin' these Orphan Tears, now it's got me seeing things

Little children, near and far
Don't know where your parents are
Cry directly in this jar
I will drink it at the bar
Sip sippin' on Orphan Tears
Sip sip sippin' on Orphan Tears
Sip sippin' on Orphan Tears
Sip sip sippin' on Orphan Tears

All up in the VIP section, straight relaxed
The DJ playing my favorite tracks
Waitress asked: What can I bring you
I said: The most expensive thing on the menu

She came back with a glass of liquid
I said, I asked for something different
This looks like a normal beer
She said, no it's Orphan Tears

Took a swig. Then I walked down where the dance floor is
Whole club looking like a forest
DeeJay turned into a brontosaurus
Everybody in the club looked like Chuck Norris

I tried to run to the bathroom but when
I did I felt a vacuum suction
Pulling me back slow
Dance floor turned into a black hole

Spinning around horribly
Feeling like Dorothy
Woke up and was still at home
Orphan Tears got us in the zone

Little children, near and far
Don't know where your parents are
Cry directly in this jar
I will drink it at the bar
Sip sippin' on Orphan Tears
Sip sip sippin' on Orphan Tears
Sip sippin' on Orphan Tears
Sip sip sippin' on Orphan Tears

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