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Ramona's Revenge

de Tom T. Hall

Ramona lived just down the hill from us
She kept the house her mama drove the bus
(An old yellow school bus)
Ramona had a handicap the neighborhood knew well
Ramona couldn't speak or couldn't spell
(Which put Ramona at a considerable disadvantage among the more fluent.)

Although she couldn't write and couldn't talk
Ramona really had a pretty walk
(A four letter figure)
Because she couldn't write or speak nobody asked her out
But Bad-Eyed Thompson hung around the house
(He was what you might say a familiar figure in the neighborhood.)

I guess their handicaps were common ground
For Bad-Eyed Thompson always hung around
He could squint that eye and spit tobacco thirty feet
Ramona always grinned and stomped her feet
(Because Ramona considered that to be one of the better local acts.)

One day Ramona found herself with child
She couldn't speak her mom was goin' wild
Confusion reigned for half a day as one could understand
The county judge came down to take a hand
(And I think it should be noted here in the interest of justice
That the judge was acting a strictly unofficial capacity.)

The neighbors gathered round Ramona's porch
The judge said understand this is not a court
Ramona stood as all the breathless neighbors gathered round
Then she closed one eye and (pttt) spat upon the ground
(And it's a familiar old saying that birds of a feather
Will flock together and justice will be done...)

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