Smut
de Tom Lehrer
Smut!
Give me smut and nothing but!
A dirty novel I can't shut
If it's uncut
And unsubtle
I've never quibbled
If it was ribald
I would devour where others merely nibbled
As the judge remarked the day that he
Acquitted my Aunt Hortense
To be smut
It must be utterly without redeeming social importance
Por-
Nographic pictures I adore
Indecent magazines galore
I like them more
If they're hardcore
Bring on the obscene movies, magazines
Murals, newspapers, postcards, neckties
Samplers, stained-glass windows, tattoos, anything!
More, more, I'm still not satisfied!
Stories of tortures
Used by debauchers
Lurid, licentious, and vile
Make me smile
Novels that pander
To my taste for candor
Give me a pleasure sublime
(Let's face it, I love slime)
All books can be indecent books
Though recent books are bolder
For filth (I'm glad to say) is in
The mind of the beholder
When correctly viewed
Everything is lewd
(I could tell you things about Peter Pan)
(And the Wizard of Oz, there's a dirty old man!)
I thrill
To any book like Fanny Hill
And I suppose I always will
If it is swill
And really fil-thy
Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately?
I've got a hobby: Rereading Lady Chatterley
But now they're trying to take it all
Away from us unless
We take a stand, and hand in hand
We fight for freedom of the press
In other words
Smut! (I love it)
Ah, the adventures of a slut
Oh, I'm a market they can't glut
I don't know what
Compares with smut
Hip hip hooray!
Let's hear it for the Supreme Court!
Don't let them take it away!
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