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The Hero of Rhyme

de Starbomb

Aw yeah!
It's me, Link again, baby
That's right I'm back!
Last time I quested for Zelda I got a little off track
But now my confidence is at an all-time high
Because Navi just anointed me the Hero of Rhyme!

I said the Hero of Time!

That's right the Hero of Rhyme!
I don't need no sword or shield
I'm gonna be just fine

Hey, listen I think—

Shh
I've got my beats and jams!
I'm taking Ganon down now
No thanks to you, Old Man!

What?!

Link, thank God you're here, the countryside is terrified and shocked!
We're overrun with darknuts, peahats, leevers, gels, and octoroks!
You're our hero of the ages with a sword and helping hand!
We really need your skills!

Oh you need my skills?
Aw damn!
Moblins: No problem and octoroks don't know poppycock!
Gotta get that Triforce tomorrow, but first I gotta do my pop and lock!
When I see an iron knuckle I'mma buckle up my pants
'Cause those bitches don't fuck around when I kick on my Z-target dance!
But see, with me, I've gotta find a different way to defeat
Don't use my sword and shield but I know this flow is good enough to kill
The Hylian people rejoice: 'cause your hero is the illest motherfuckin' rapper with the illest fuckin' voice!
How was that?
Those raps do anything for you?

Oh, God, everyone is dead!

Moving right along to Ganon's underground lair

Everything's on fire!

Don't worry, I'm not scared
I'll save all of Hyrule with the tastiest rhymes I can spit
Now watch and learn, Navi!

You're a stupid piece of shit!

Wanna go Ganon? Get your pig-ass over here and try me!
Just ignore the burning hellscape that's collapsing in behind me
You have never seen a rapper close to my skills whatsoever!
Oh I see you brought a giant glowing sword
That's cool, whatever
'Cause, hey!
I'm gonna be the last thing you see when you lose against me here in the ruins of the city
Yeah, ah! No better bigger battle than here 'cause by the time you swing your sword I'm gonna—
Oh!
Whoa
Chill out!
Gotta fill out this order form for a partner who can, maybe, I don't know, come out and help me out in a real bout!

Hey listen, Link!
Your rapping doesn't stink, but Ganon's standing right there with a giant sword—
Oh
Ooh
Shh
Oh

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