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Nintendo Online’s Greatest Announcement

de Starbomb

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Egoraptor
Ninja Sex Party, gotta catch 'em all!
Smell my balls!
Yo what up, bitch, I'mma tell you a tale
'Bout how Ash Ketchum got his ass sent to jail
Beat the Elite Four, won the tournament war
But he just couldn't get the same rush as before
Fat and depressed his life had gone south

So he turned to Pikachu and then he punched him in the Meowth
He felt so alive, he felt so real
He beat all his Pokemon, with his fists of Registeel
He got arrested for domestic violence
It was a crazy motherfuckin' Cacturne of events
He said that Pika's bruises happened on the stairs when he fell
They called some Granbullshit and threw that bitch in a cell
Rock on
This is a fucked up tale of Pokemon, gone wrong, gone wrong
That's right
This shit is tight when Egoraptor's at the mic
Bitch

Ash was in trouble as soon as he arrived
He Magnemite not make it outta prison alive
His lawyer ran in with a big state trooper
Bringin' fiery news, like Charmanderson Cooper
"It's your lucky day, Pika posted your bail"
So Ash found his little friend outside of the jail
But Pikachu was different, he had mentally snapped
Ash was Chandelured into his deadly trap
Pika pulled out a gun, and then he said with a cry
"Suck a yellow dick, bro, I choose you to die"
"Don't do it!" yelled Ash "You know I've got your back"
But Pika pulled the trigger, shot him twice in the sack

Holy fuck
I don't know if you've been shot in the nuts
Spoiler: it sucks
And oh, Squirtle, gotta catch 'em all
But they might just ruin your balls
And poor Misty
Again and a-Gengar she'll have Gastly screams
That Haunter dreams
But you want more
And if you don't, we'll beat your ass till it's Bulbasaur
Yeah! Pokemon

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