SPACESHIP

de Ryan Oakes

Six shots of whiskey now I'm feeling numb
I keep on running not sure what its from
No matter what I do it’s never enough
Wonder what happens if I give this up

This liquor I'm chasing got me feeling numb
This pressure is building and I might succumb
I've gone for the next step but found out I'm stuck
I wonder what happens if I give this up

Another day another headache
Trying to figure out what to do with all the dead weight
Bottled up some problems I had and all of that led straight
To a couple of curveballs that I threw that I never set straight
I've been chasing dreams for a motherfucking decade

Damn, and it still feels like a nightmare
I don't try to bitch, homie I know life don't fight fair
I put it in a song hoping that somebody might care
'Cause I put it all on the line, all of the time
And it still isn't falling in line, I call to the sky
Wonder why I'm in stalling cause I saw all the signs
That destiny was calling and I've been starting my mind
That this is all that I got, this is my motherfucking purpose
Why do I feel lost, so stuck under the surface

It's coming at a cost so I go to sleep nervous
I'm waking up angry, is this shit worth it
It’s feeling like a burden
I used to look in the mirror and see benefits

Now I'm looking in the mirror at my nemesis
That’s enough to get me pumping with adrenaline
Doc's saying I need sedatives and medicine
Anxiety and depression they've been setting in
That shit sends shivers down my skeleton
They've been knocking on my door and I might let them in

This liquor I'm chasing got me feeling numb
This pressure is building and I might succumb
I've gone for the next step but found out I'm stuck
I wonder what happens if I give this up

Six shots of whiskey now I'm feeling numb
I keep on running not sure what its from
No matter what I do it's never enough
Wonder what happens if I give this up

Was never a bitch that's just not in my breath
So it's bad I've eroded I'm down on my knees
Something's stealing my breath now it's harder to breathe
So I write it all down and I finally bleed
All the cuts and the wounds I collect
Been through all kinds of depths for the world to recover
I'm a martyr of sorts and that's selling it short
Now I wonder if dying in wonder
Is it better than all of the pain
'Cause there's not been a day that I haven't seen rain
Psychology states that if I stay in this state
Than I'll probably fuck up my brain
Every day waking up drained

And I was asleep but I still feel the same
I'm feeling insane, I search for the words that I could never explain
Thought this life really isn't as good as they claim
I'm certain they're plotting in my head to eat me alive
It swallows me whole but it's unsatisfied

Consumed by the thoughts that I'm having to hide
They feed on the pressure I breathe in the lies
And search for the words I'm unlikely to speak
My mouths stapled shut so I scream in my sleep
Never would of thought this was how it would be a nightmare to live in a dream
Oakes

This liquor I'm chasing got me feeling numb
This pressure is building and I might succumb
I've gone for the next step but found out I'm stuck
I wonder what happens if I give this up

Six shots of whiskey now I'm feeling numb
I keep on running not sure what its from
No matter what I do it's never enough
Wonder what happens if I give this up