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Penitence

de Ren

Lately, I think I was over
Time in my chest, beating slower
Like the clouds, see color of them fading out
Fading out
Ooh, the heavy heart I carried
Went over your head and over mine

(Regret)
I counted the days she left like a prisoner
Etching markings on my skin with an old knife, scratching
(Forget)
You see I wanted the physical to match the psychological
And yet no matter how hard I dug, I still could not match that pain
(Regret)
I longed for reasons, I sung with demons
I sat in a dark, dusty room barely moving, breathing
(Forget)
I chewed threw my own umbilical cord, attached to her naval
I wanted to be separate

Ooh, oh I think my mind is leaking
Ooh, solitude is so depleting
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I did it to myself
I know that you were faithful
I did it for my health
How come I'm still unstable?
And fallen far from help
A suicidal angel
Exhaust my wings and fell
Falling so ungraceful
Banished into hell

I wish that I could stop crying
They say that the body is 70% water
I feel like I must've reduced mine by a considerable fraction
Newton's Third Theory states that for every action, there must be an equal and opposite counter-reaction
And so I re-traced my steps and try to find reasons, in the arms of my demons
'Cause I can't find healing if I can't find meaning
A conundrum leaning on my dumb numb feelings
Have a noose high-beaming, when I hung from ceilings
When I run from demons, that are living in my head and escape
Fate and disaparate
Evaporate, evacuate, and then activate
Fate, but it cut the breaks
Now, I'm driving my universe into a lake and the weight
Weight of the world, don't wait
We make mistakes when it's all at stake
For goodness sakes, a double-take
But, I don't want to eat that cake
I ruminate inside meaning
To illuminate a dark mind
I communicate without speaking
And I've seen so much, I went blind-eyed, why?
I'm living a lie
Living a lie, with the lion inside (I did it to myself)
Living a lie, with the lion inside (I know, I know)
And my mind it is hungry, it's hungry, for my-
Sanity, my sanity, I-
Living a lie, with the lion inside (I did it to myself)
Living a lie, with the lion inside (I know, I know)
And my mind it is hungry, and I don't why
Pressure drop. Deep breathe, time stops
A broken, et cetera, dot, dot, dot
Pressure drop, pressure drop, pressure drop
I feel it, consuming, I can't stop
Dot, dot, dot, the lines join the dots
And I'm tying knots (I did it to myself)
And divide and multiply
Square the root of Pi
Beat the puzzle (I know, I know), I
Tried to keep my mind focused on the line
Hopscotch and Pop Rocks, I take shots of teardrops (I did it to myself)
When I drop, a pill pop (I know, I know) I find peace, and time stops
(I know, I know, I know, I kn-)

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