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Family Funeral Fight

de Ray Stevens

[sound of wire-service telegraphy]

SPOKEN: Hello, ev'ryone, This is your Action News reporter
with all the news that is news across the nation on the scene
at the supermarket. There seems to have been some disturbance here.
Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?

SPOKEN: Yeah, I did. I's standin' over there by the tomaters
and here he comes-runnin' through the pole beans, through
the fruits ''n' vegetables, nekked as a jaybird.
'n' I hollered over t'Ethel,
I said "DON'T LOOK, ETHEL!!" 'n' it's too late-
she'd already been INcensed.

(Here he comes)
Looka dat, looka dat
(There he goes)
Looka dat, looka dat
(And he ain't wearin' no clothes)

Whoa, yes they call him The Streak ["zipppp" kazoo sound]
(Looka dat, looka dat)
Fastest thing on two feet
Looka dat, looka dat
He's just as proud as he can be of his anatomy
He gun give us a peek
Oh, yes they call him The Streak ["zipppp" kazoo sound]
(Looka dat, looka dat)
He likes to show off his physique
(Looka dat, looka dat)
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streakin' A-round invitin' public critique ["zipppp" kazoo sound]

SPOKEN: This is your Action News reporter once again
and we're here at the gas station.
Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?

SPOKEN: Yeah, I did. I's just in here gettin' my tawres checked
'n' he just appeared outta the back. Come streakin' around
the grease rack there-didn't have nuthin on but a smile!!
I looked at her and Ethel was gettin' 'er a cold drink. I
hollered "DON'T LOOK, ETHEL!!" But it's too late-she'd
already been MOONED!! Flashed her right there in front o

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