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You Can Touch My Boobies

de Rachel Bloom

Hello, boys and girls, and welcome to your first day back at Hebrew school!
So this year is very important
Because we're gonna be preparing you for your bar and bat mitzvahs
So I really need you all to focus, okay?
I know that it's hard with schoolwork and-

Hey, Jeffrey Goldstein, looks like you fell asleep in Hebrew school again
Well, that's okay, 'cause now, you're about to have a dream
And not just any dream, a sexy dream!

Sex, sex, sexy sex

Come with me, Jeffrey Goldstein
To a fantasy
Rip off your Stewie Griffin shirt
And give yourself to me
No need to check the lock
'Cause your parents are at Benihana
Throw away the sock
Now come in close. I know you wanna

We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies
Don't be shy, yeah, it's all right
'Cause you can touch my boobies
We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies
Don't be shy, yeah, it's all right
'Cause you can touch my boobies

Sex, sex, sexy sex
Boner, boner, uterus

Saturday night and the music's pumpin'
Out at the family funplex
We'll lick tongues in a go-kart
And you'll tell me fun facts about minerals
Now I'm dressed like that lady
From that cookie wrapper in the trash
I'll show you my vagina
Which is located on my stomach somewhere

We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies
Don't be shy, yeah, it's all right
'Cause you can touch my boobies
We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies
Wow, amethyst is a type of quartz?
For that, you can touch my boobies!

Sex, sex, sexy sex
Boner, boner, uterus
Fallopian, Fallopian, the pillow in the living room

Jeffrey, this is Golda Meir, the fourth prime minister of Israel
You're disgusting! You are perverted!
You have brought shame on your family and the Jewish people!
You are going to be a rapist!

Boobs!
We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies (labia!)
Don't be shy, yeah, it's all right
'Cause you can touch my boobies (outer labia!)

We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies
(You're sick!)
Don't be shy, yeah, it's all right
'Cause you can touch my boobies
(Put your schmekel away!)

Sex, sex, sexy sex
You can touch my boobies
Boner, boner, uterus
You can touch my boobies
Fallopian, Fallopian, you can touch my boobies
(I see you staring at your dog's pussy!)
You can touch my boobies

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