Nicht anders
de Madness
In the earliest days of my shoplifting career,
You could safely say I was filled with fear.
It was nail biting work from the very start,
But several quick sucesses soon gave me heart.
After a while I could pick or nick or steal,
Some shirts some trousers and a few LPs.
No-one ever stopped me, they didn't seem to care.
It sometimes seemed to me that there was no-one there.
Then a fine summers day my mates and me,
Set off down the westend on our usual spree.
Things were as normal for an hour or so,
Then my nimble hands were a bit too slow.
Two store detectives made a fast approach,
One grabbed my jacket (you're nicked!)
The other grabbed my throat.
So they caught me at last, one said with joy:
"You'll have to do some time, my light fingered boy!"
If only I'd remembered my common sense,
They captured me red-handed with evidence.
If I go to the manager and say I'm sorry,
Maybe he'll forgive me for my youthful folly.
But what will me social worker say,
If I don't come home today?
He'll give me a clout!
What if they don't let me out?
I told him I'm on me own!
Don't they understand?
I'm from a broken home!
I'll tell them I'm the product of a broken home,
And I always went out on my own.
Was it too late to say I'd pay,
And I'll never steal again 'till the end of my days?
Because I have no friends to call as such,
Money and posessions I did not have much,
So I started to steal in order to get by.
The quickness of the hand deceives the eye.
deceives the eye the eye the eye...
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Prologue: “Mr Beckett Sir…”
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Theatre of the Absurd
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If I Go Mad
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Baby Burglar
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Act One: "Surrounded on all sides..”
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Hour of Need
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Act Two "The damsel in distress..”
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Round We Go
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Act Three: "The situation deteriorates..”
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Lockdown and Frack Off
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Beginners 101
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Is There Anybody Out There?
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The Law According to Dr. Kippah
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Epilogue: “And so Ladies and Gentlemen..”
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Run For Your Life
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Set Me Free (Let Me Be)
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In My Street
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