I Will Join a Circus

de Kimya Dawson

I sat in the swamp with a little pink piggy
Who loved roller-skating and playing pretend
The boy that she loved was a real snackmaster
The world was a beach ball and we were all friends
Then he died alone and the last time I saw her
It looked like the reaper had rapped on her door
She said: Do you remember singing ice ice baby with me
Laying down on the reef bathroom floor?

How could I ever forget? I could never forget
I will never forget
How could I ever forget? I could never forget
I will never forget

Jimmy and johnny just stare at each other
While their mother hangs in the holiday inn
Your funeral on your son's seventh birthday
Is the worst thing you could ever give him
I bet he'd like flowers, balloons, and a card
Unconditionally yours, all my love, from your mom
Much more than wearing that little black suit
And saying goodbye forever to you

I haven't forgotten the times that I teased you
And everyone else pointed at you and laughed
Permanent damage was not my intention
But I could not foresee the aftermath of my actions

I was so small
Wanted to grow in the eyes of my enemies
For awhile I felt tall
But they knocked me back down now I'm here on my knees

Looking at my face in a bed of pine needles
And wondering if anyone stills knows my name
I turned full circle and another half circle
And tried to go back the same way that I came
Look alive dawson, your heels are dragging
I never knew anyone could move so slow
You may be a hotshot now, but you are still a cow
A big fat F, why don't you just go home?

I guess that that means I did not make the team
I'll just lay on the ground and look up at the trees
The old bedford oak the tall evergreens
This is not a joke this is not a dream
Not sleeping just resting in pieces that I wish were peaches
I saw your dad later that day
Maybe he shot himself, could've been someone else
Asked me to tell you what he had to say

You don't have to end up with people who self destruct
Go find a lover who will never leave
Fear of abandonment, self hate, and discontent
Will go away when you let yourself grieve
And forget about me, forget about me, forget about me

How could I ever forget? I could never forget
I will never forget
How could I ever forget? I could never forget
I will never forget
How could I ever forget? I could never forget
I will never forget
How could I ever forget? I could never forget
I will never forget

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