Man 1: I think the movement's pretty much fucking dead.
Man 2: The movement is making me have a bowel movement.
Man 1: Too many fuckin'... there's too many, ah....

Take out the soul, take out the passion.
Then add some bubblegum & mainstream cash in.
Amalgamate a soft link in the chain.
(Man 1: You know, white people invented ska?)
(Man 2: Yeah, white people NEVER invented ska.)
Don't need a point, don't need no power.
Let them rinse off as ignorance showers
And let integrity go down the drain.
Yeah!

Get on that train,
You fuckin' dork, you fuckin' dork, dork, dork.
You fuckin' dork.
You fuckin' dork, you fuckin' dork, dork, dork.

Get on that train,
You fuckin' dork, you fuckin' dork, dork, dork.
You fuckin' dork.
You fuckin' dork, you fuckin' dork, dork, dork.

Popcorn herbs dressed like Urkel.
All running 'round and 'round in a circle.
Phenomena that I can't quite explain.
(Man 1: You're stealin' your father's clothes, that he put away in the fuckin' attic.)
Chords & beats all cookie cutter.
Originality in the gutter.
Anyone else who does not share my pain....
Yeah!

Get on that train,
You fuckin' dork, you fuckin' dork, dork, dork.
You fuckin' dork.
You fuckin' dork, you fuckin' dork, dork, dork.

Get on that train,
You fuckin' dork, you fuckin' dork, dork, dork.
You fuckin' dork.
You fuckin' dork, you fuckin' dork, dork, dork.

Man 1: Mad Ska Syndrome?
Man 2: No, BAD Ska Syndrome.
Man 1: (laughter) Bad Ska Syndrome.
Man 2: It's reskarded.
Man 1: (laughter) It's reskarded! Those reskarded kids!
Man 2: Reskarded kids.
Man 1: Ska with an extra chromosome.
(laughter)

Man 1: We didn't even know when the first band started and the last band ended.
We thought it was just one big band. They bring new meaning to the word "starving artist."
Man 2: When the crowd's starvin'.
Man 1: When the crowd's starvin'. Starvin' for good music!
(laughter)

Follow the herd into the chasm.
Keep on your wannabee rebellion spasm,
While you don't dare to go against the grain.
(Man 1: My favorite ska band is Aunt Suzanne's Tampon. They're the best.)
We'll still be here fighting the good fight,
Keeping it true & strong & hardcore & airtight.
Anyone else who won't help cleanse this stain....
Yeah!

Get on that train,
You fuckin' dork, you fuckin' dork, dork, dork.
You fuckin' dork.
You fuckin' dork, you fuckin' dork, dork, dork.

Get on that train,
You fuckin' dork, you fuckin' dork, dork, dork.
You fuckin' dork.
You fuckin' dork, you fuckin' dork, dork, dork.

Alright, all aboard!
You dork it up, you dork it up, you dork, dork, dork.
You fuckin' dork it up, you dork it up, you dork, dork, dork.
You fuckin' dork it up, you dork it up, you dork, dork, dork.
You fuckin' dork it up, you dork it up, you dork,
'Til it sounds like this!

(Wacky instrumental a la Reel Big Fish)

"Skank it up, rudies!"

Man 1: I saw a kid with a Reel Big Fish shirt and I called him a reel big asshole.