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Restless Legs

de Half Man Half Biscuit

Here she lies in a fleecy gown
By my side in the eiderdown
But she can't get a ticket to Morning Town
Cause I've got restless legs

Boring though this film may be
Slumber still won't visit me
So long as you stay next to me
For I have restless legs

Milky drink and Sudafed
"That should sort you out" she said
As I kicked myself clean out of the bed
And raised my restless legs

Call me a puppet. Cures I've sought
All in all they've come to naught
I wish it was some astronaut
Who had these restless legs

4:06 and I'm wide awake
Got an uncontrollable urge to take
A 5-mile hike around the Ogwen lake
And stretch these restless legs

No sympathy from Uncle Greg
Nor indeed from Auntie Meg
Well Thank God I'm not Jake the Peg
With an extra restless leg

So come the day when I don't exist
And worms are flying through the graveyard mist
Don't go calling the excorcist
It's just my restless legs
It's just my restless legs
It's just my restless legs

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