If I Had Possession over Pancake Day
de Half Man Half Biscuit
Outside goldsmiths’ coughing up blood,
Turner prize judge gasps “christ that’s good –
Leave it as it is, it’ll get first place
We’ll call it a full shift at the coal face”
Oh well you’re neither a stuckist or a yba
And you’re no longer a miner as of today
Praise for the wardens ready to fine
Anyone caught saying “graphic design”
Rag-mag seller said I’d be in pleats
Only when he’d been cleaned from the streets
Oh I could squeeze my lemon ’til my blues went away
If I had possession over pancake day
Give a philosophy student a glass of limeade
And he will say: “is this a glass of limeade?”
And “if so, why is it a glass of limeade?”
And, after a while, he’ll die of thirst
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Bob Wilson - Anchorman
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For What Is Chatteris...
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Venus in Flares
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Joy Division Oven Gloves
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National Shite Day
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The Trumpton Riots
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Restless Legs
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The Light at the End of the Tunnel (Is the Light of an Oncoming Train)
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Time Flies by (When You're the Driver of a Train)
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Asparagus Next Left
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Old Age Killed My Teenage Bride
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Westward Ho! Massive Letdown
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This One's for Now
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Baguette Dilemma for the Booker Prize Guy
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My Outstretched Arms
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The Bain of Constance
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Theme Tune for Something or Other
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False Grit
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Urge for Offal
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Stuck up a Hornbeam
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