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The College Try

de Garfunkel and Oates

[29 - Oates]
For the first time in my life, I see it clearly
I realize the power of being a woman
Twenty nine years old and time’s on my side
I'm in my prime, I've hit my stride
I got so much charisma, and so many options
It's nice to always have my pick

[31 - Garfunkel]
There's nobody left, I'm all alone

[Oates]
I'm at the top of my game
Possibilities are endless, and I just feel really pretty
I'm holding out for someone who meets my standards
Won't settle for anything less than perfect
I know what I want and I can have have it
I'm surrounded by love and peace

[Garfunkel]
There's nobody left, I'm all alone
Why the fuck did I wait, what's wrong with me?
In two short years, I'm gonna be 33
Who the hell who want me then, my ovaries are shrinking
I'm disgusting and everyone feels bad for me
And I never get invited to dinner party anymore

[Oates]
Thing unfolds when they're supposed to
Cause everything happens for a reason
It’ll happen for me when I'm not even looking
He'll just appear and I'll just know
And he'll love me forever without any work
Who needs to try when things are meant to be

[Garfunkel]
There's nobody left, I'm all alone
You're such a fucking idiot
You think you're so special because people tell you that now
But that will stop and be replaced with looks of pity

[Oates]
My life's complete, the world is a buffet of love

[Garfunkel]
Oh, what, you think biological reality doesn't apply to you
And your adorable cocoon of agelessness, well it does
While you're just waiting around and focusing on you
Guess what, you're gonna miss you fucking window!

[Oates (Garfunkel)]
Everything happens for a reason, you know I truly believe that
(Yeah you said that before)
Oh my God, it does so, everything happens for a reason
(What about the Haitian earthquake or cellulite on skinny woman)
Just say: Hey universe, I'm ready, it'll happen when you least expect it
(Well I don't expect it at all now, so I guess it's right around the corner)
Maybe you're putting the wrong vibe, maybe you're closed off to love
Let me tell you a secret, it's call a secret
(Here's another secret, you're an asshole)
Your negativity is selffulfilling prophecy, the reason things go well for me is 'cause of positivity
(Well I'm positive fertility always begins to atrophy, when infantile fantasy eclipses true reality)
It never once occurred to me that things won't work out perfectly, when God closes a door you see, he opens a window

[Garfunkel]
You realize that’s a smaller opening, right?
You used to be able to walk out the front door
And now you have to climb out some slightly ajar window somewhere
Possibly falling like 5 stories to your death, that is not an upgrade
And you know what's else
There's nobody left, I'm all alone
I fucking hate you, you're such an arrogant cunt
You're so stupid

[Oates]
Cause life is good/over 31

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