Have you seen my sister, Evelyn?
Dang, she's gone and wandered off again!
I've been lookin' high and low
Where oh where'd my sister go?
She's been known to spend some time
With a sailor friend of mine
I called him up and what'd he say?
I ain't seen that girl today!

So if you see my sister Evelyn
Tell that girl to hurry home again!
Where oh where'd my sister Evelyn go?

Is she with the doctor? Or the plumber?
Or the dentist? Or the handyman?
Did she go to India? Or Africa?
Or Wichita? Or Pakistan?
Did she go and join the navy?
Or go completely crazy?
Or is she playin' a trick on me?

Did she run off with the barber, the professor
Or the banker, or the clergyman?
Is it possible that she could be in Timbuktu
Or Katmandu or Vegas or Uzbekistan?
She learning how to do-do
The Chattanooga Choo Choo?
Oh golly where could that girl be?

Have you seen my sister, Evelyn?
Thought she'd gone and wandered off again!
I've been lookin' high and low
Where oh where'd my sister go?
She's been known to jump a train
Through the alley old folk down the lane
I looked her up and what'd she say?
I ain't seen that girl in days!

So if you see my sister Evelyn
Tell that girl to hurry home again!
Where oh where'd my sister Evelyn go?

Is my floozy sister with the doctor
Or the drummer
Or the dentist or the handyman?
Did that ho-bag quit her job and run off
With that dick-head Mike
To Indio, Guantanamo
Or Panama or Disneyland?
Is she studying Kabbalah?
Did she win a million dollars?
Or is she dead in a ditch somewhere?

So if you see my sister Evelyn
Tell that girl to hurry home again!
Where oh where
Where oh where
Where oh where
Where oh where
Where oh where'd my sister Evelyn go?