George Washington vs William Wallace

de Epic Rap Battles of History

[George Washington]
There's a difference between you and me, Willy
I fought 'till I was actually Free, Willy
I got my face on a quarter
You got drawn and quartered
Tortured on the orders of a king, really?
How'd you get beat by a dude named Longshanks?
You hot dogged and he cut off your bean franks
I'm money like a national bank
Ain't nobody more street than Big G
Stone face with a grill of sheep teeth
A Mel Gibson movie is your legacy
I got a state and a day and a D.C
(Stroke!) Roll up in a boat
(Stroke!) You're sleeping, cut your throat
(Stroke!) I'll watch the blood flow, now who's got that Redcoat?

[William Wallace]
Look at you in your little blousy outfit
Looking like a stiffer white dick than your monument
I'll knock you the fuck out, mate
You died owning slaves, I died setting men free (Scot free!)
That's the highland way
This powdered prick couldn't beat me in a foot race
I was emasculated, eviscerated
I had my head chopped off and they put it on a pike
But I still find time to bust a Gaelic rhyme
I'll rip your Yankee Doodle arse on the mic!
I'll knock your face off your moolah
Alba gu bràth! (Gu bràth!)
Hoo-ra! (Hoo-ra!)
Founding Father, but no children
Crossed the Delaware but your soldiers couldn't swim
That's Washington, such a shite tactician
The fucking British Army didn't even want him
I'm Wallace!
And I'm flawless!
Stay hidden in your office or suffer great losses!
I pop my kilt, strap my sword in my hilt
Step on the battlefield and I'm ready to kill!
Send all your politicians straight down to hell!
The only Washington I trust Denzel!

[George Washington]
Is that the best you got for me?
I'll chop down an emcee like a cherry tree!
See, power! That's what the meaning of my flag is!
Your nation's famous for golf and haggis!
I'm fabulous from my head to my shoebuckle!
Step to me, and catch a knee to the mooseknuckle!
Cause I know you don't wear no draws
I'm dressed like a pimp, best moves at the ball
McGlavin, McGliven, McSchool you all!
Cock block more Scots than Hadrian's Wall!

[William Wallace]
I don't give a shite about your fancy clothes!
You whipped all those out of slave black folks
Grew weed and you made hemp rope
But if you think you'll beat me, you must be having a smoke! (no joke!)
Don't tee off with me, laddie!
If you held my balls, you couldn't be my caddie!
My style's ice cold, yours is old and shabby
You're the Father of Your Country
But I'm your daddy!