Dr Seuss vs William Shakespeare (feat. Nice Peter, Epiclloyd & George Watsky)

de Epic Rap Battles of History

[William Shakespeare]
Come bite my thumb!
I hope you know the stakes
I'll put a slug between your shoulder blades
Then ask what light through yonder poser breaks?
I hath been iambic on that ass, ye bastard
My rhymes are classic
Your crap is drafted by a kindergartner high on acid
Ye hoebag
You're an old white Soulja Boy who has no swag and no gonads
Egads it's so sad
And to top it off
You're not a doctor
I've never seen a softer author
You crook, you
I bet you wrote The Twilight books too

[Dr Seuss]
I would not could not on a boat
Read any of the boring ass plays you wrote
Even Horton doesn't want to here you
And Cindy Lou
Who is afraid to go near you
You bore people to death
You leave a classroom
Looking like the end of MacBeth
I entertain a child of any age
You gotta translate what you said on the opposite page
How you gonna battle with the Cat in The Hat?
Little kids get scared when I step on the mat
You think your ruffled neck ass gonna rap to that?
I got a best selling book about me coming back

[William Shakespeare]
I'm switching up my style like the Beatles with my pieces
Each is such a wonder with a plethora of features
You're pathetically predictable
You think your new book might include a trisyllabic meter and some ghetto Muppet creatures
The Bard is in the building, it's a castle, I'm a boss
I bet I'm Parliament
I'm positive, I'm killing it, I'm iller than the plague
I never caught or cholera, a baller baller
On some cricket bowler business
While you're sitting in the bleachers

[Dr Seuss]
You rap fast, you do
Yes, you rap fast it's true
Now let's see how you rap versus Things 1 and 2

[Thing 1 and Thing 2]
Oh, no
We'll smash your globe
Yo, you may have wrote the script but now we running the show
You can take your fancy words and send'em back home to your mama
Break our foot off in your ass with our feetie pajamas
Man we'll cook you up and eat you with some ham and green eggs
We'll break offa your legs
Make no mistake
We in a rage
All does not end well when we bust out our cage
You gettin' upstaged Bill
Yo, you just got played!