Payday

de Dan Bull

Monopoly was not for me
Chess made me stressed out
So the only way I could get down was with
Pocket electronics and bleeps
Ever since my Game Boy made toys obsolete
I've been a well behaved boy
That played inside and stayed off the streets
Yes, so I got my electric shocks
From Tetris blocks and Mario Land
But there wasn't much room for much for mushrooms
I was the man, man
With the pad in my hand
Hammerin' at it while eating my breakfast
Bein' the best
That was the plan
Beatin' the rest
And leavin' them breathless
Please believe me
Nobody could beat me at Tetris
I fuckin' rock
Droppin' blocks like heads
I'm choppin' blocks
I was on some Next shit
And I still got a flame
For puzzle games
Like HD Hexic
But when the PC came
My gaming taste became eclectic

This day's grim (It's raining)
It's raining
What wonderful weather for gaming
The sun's blazing (The sun's blazing)
So let's stay in
It's wonderful weather for gaming

I was the geeky one
I really wanted a PC CD-ROM
And got it
8-mega RAM
A CRT screen
She was some top kit
Free moments were devoted
To keystrokes
And the odd click
Far more into dark forces then
Even the Star Wars kid
And Civilization II is a brilliant game
That you really should play and I still do today
Computer games improve your brain
It's proven, mate
So if you behave in stupid ways
Then please refrain from blaming GTA
I really hate excuses
I may just shoot my teacher's face
Nah, I'm already embroiled
In getting these Tesla coils
Ready in my base
The Russians are comin'
With trucks full of gunmen
I need to be safe
But maybe the green beret
Could lead the way
And see us through
At least till we replace
The PC games
With PS2

This day's grim (It's raining)
It's raining
What wonderful weather for gaming
The sun's blazing (The sun's blazing)
So let's stay in
It's wonderful weather for gaming

Takin' control of
Somebody else's console
With no remorse
I was so debauched
My only thoughts
Were total scores on Tony Hawk's
Or runnin' amok
In Smuggler's Run
Smugglin' guns and drugs
For fun
And pullin' a gun on
Any NPC I see or stumble upon
GTA III made me inclined
To kill repeatedly
The spinal chills of Silent Hill
Are still on my mind and
Creepin' me the fuck out
Look out, pull out your sawn-off shotgun
'Cause there's a hot zombie nurse
That wants to hurt you
And cut off your oxygen
But as much as asphyxiation
May be lots of fun
I've got a crush, a fixation
With PlayStation
I'm in love
So I said to the PS2
"Me and you need a breather"
Then in 3 clicks
I ordered an Xbox 360 off eBay

This day's grim (It's raining)
It's raining
What wonderful weather for gaming
The sun's blazing (The sun's blazing)
So let's stay in
It's wonderful weather for gaming

So we switched teams to the 360
Glitch free
Lots of slick features
HD, HDD, I don't miss leads
Gears is my gear
But I gets my hits from Hitman
The BioShock has Mass Effect
As I sink into Oblivion
Splinter Cell's mint as well
And Rainbow Six takes no prisoners
It's the business
And the cover system's fuckin' wicked
Duckin' and chuckin' a frag
Blind fire from behind
Piles of rubble and zippin' them up in a bag
I'm lovin' the lack of health packs
Puttin' a plaster on a fracture
Or a shrapnel gash
What the hell's that?
In the new generation
of computer gamin'
You hold the left trigger half way down
Or let the computer do the aiming
So what are you complainin' for
"The Forza scoreboard's been reset"
Shut up and improve your Gamerscore
Before you get the dreaded Red Ring of Death

This day's grim (It's raining)
It's raining
What wonderful weather for gaming
The sun's blazing (The sun's blazing)
David's raiding
It's wonderful weather for gaming