Enderman Rap

de Dan Bull

Who's rapping
Dovahkiin
Dragons?
I'm not over keen
I'll dice 'em like a knife
Slicin' right through an aubergine
My dragon shout flow
Is sweeter than a soda stream
You won't believe your eyes
I'm like an overload of dopamine
A broadsword in one hand
And a magic spell in the other
I'm the last of the Dragonborn
There's no other my brother
So run for cover

If you got scales
Then I'm on your tail
And I will not fail
Like a free-roaming
Sandbox game
I'm of the rails
I'll walk the trails
Through awful gales
And storms of hail
Till all the nails
Are knocked into your coffin
I'm not stoppin'
Till you're impaled
And I've prevailed

In the name of the Nords
I pray to the Lords
You'll all get a taste of the blade of my sword
I'm taking on hordes of enemies
I face them with hordes of weaponry
They're draining my force
So chemistry comes into play with retorts and recipes
Alchemixing like a DJ
Restoration restore my energy
My legacy
Odyssey, elegy, prophecy's-
Written in heavenly bodies
And buried with every body
That ever did bother to mess with me
Deadin' them terribly
Horribly
I'm a celebrity
Honestly
You're a wannabe
I'm a prodigy
The suggestion that you're better than me
At being a warrior?
Ha!

Comedy
It's a gift to me
I don't just spit flames lyrically
But literally
And the Elder Scrolls are scripts in which
I've written your obituary
I am the Dragonborn
Wearing a hat with badass horns
I'm Dovahkiin
Known globally
You're nobody at all