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Sur le fil du rasoir

de Colleen Green

Someday I hope for a lover to kill me
It's the closest I can hope to get to anybody
It's the closest I can come to being really free
And there's a ring of questions on my mind lately
Like will I find a love that lasts long as my life?
Or will I die before ever becoming a wife?
And I'm wondering if I'm even the marrying kind
How can I give you my life when I know you're just gonna die?
Is there anything stronger than biology?
Is love being ruined by technology?
Nowadays commitment seems like a burden to carry
I don't wanna think about it
I don't wanna (I don't wanna)
Think about it (think about it)
I don't wanna (I don't wanna)
Think about it (think about it)
I don't wanna (I don't wanna)
Think about it (think about it)
I don't wanna think about it
It's too scary

And the closest I can come to being really free
Is letting my lover perform experiments on me
Observe and analyse
And empirically hypothesise
Cos I wanna know real love so desperately
But I think it's gotta happen scientifically
Cos I'm scared
Afraid of real intimacy
You know, the kind they say happens psychologically
Dressed up like a surgeon, you could open my heart
Remove the brain and leave the body in charge
No more emotions taking control
We will pick a part and play out our roles

Further than fantasy
Deeper than love could ever be
Further than fantasy
Deeper than love could ever be

And the only best friends
I ever made
Were people I knew I didn't have to see every day
The closest to true love
I ever came
Was with someone I kept many miles away
Cos I'm wary of eliminating distance
This could surely be the death of
Any romance
Cos I'm shitty and I'm lame and I'm dumb and I'm a bore
And once you get to know me you won't love me anymore
And that possibility worries me the most
Not harm or abuse or becoming a ghost
It's the closeness, the intimacy
I'm afraid, it might kill me

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