I thought it would be real neat
I thought it would be real cool
If I picked up my dad's guitar
And learned me some Irish tunes
I'd play them for a couple friends
At some little Polish bar
A little "Whiskey In The Jar"
I never thought it'd go so far

So why would you want to bring me down
'Cause I'm not from Ireland, I'm from Allentown

I learned something from an Irish girl
She came to our second show
That when an Irish girl has something to say
She's gonna let you know
She said she wasn't very fond
She turned her volume up to ten
I didn't fly across the Altantic Ocean
To hear "A Nation Once Again"

But it's a song we had to play
Or else the owner wouldn't pay

[Chorus]
'Cause I'm almost, I'm almost Irish
And I hope almost, is good enough for you
And I'm mostly, I'm mostly Irish
OK mostly I'm American it's true
Maybe the little bit of Irish in me
Could be the little bit of Irish in you

I'll admit to you my biggest fear
That guy from Belfast will show up here
Hey what's that flying through the air
Oh, It's his glass of beer
So Irish kids don't like these song
So why do Americans keep em going strong
You think this trad stuff really bores
It's not my fault that you like The Corrs
So I'm not a native Irish man
I never really said I am

I've got soft teeth and I don't tan
So won't you give me something man

Chorus

And real blood pudding makes me sick
And Colin Farrell is a marginal actor, at best
I finally found a place where I belong
So let me sing the Unicorn...Song

Chorus