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Indelible

de Capstan

I know just where to cut, I never really was
One to refrain from drawing blood
Typically my own, in ways that don't quite show
Surrounded by love, yet alone

I'm afraid, that all I am is fake
Pretending I'm not out of place or burning with self-hate
Forever missing yesterday but can never stay
Present, drift away

Allow myself to rust, my heart collecting dust
My mind keeps repeating "you're not enough"
It has me by the throat, a death grip stranglehold
I fear it's the last thing I'll know

I'm afraid, that all I am is fake
Pretending I'm not out of place or burning with self-hate
Forever missing yesterday but can never stay
Present, drift away

Is there a hole inside my brain
Pulling every thought into a negative space?
A gravity I can't escape
Weighted my head to a pillow for days
But I still won't say

I'm afraid, that all I am is fake
Pretending I'm not out of place or burning with self-hate
Forever missing yesterday but can never stay
Present, drift away

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