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You Deserve an Oscar

de Bob Schneider

At first you were unwanted you were disgusting and snarly
Scary and stinky unwielding and gnarly
Turning the furniture over and eating all my soup
Drooling on my pillows acting like a nincompoop
Making crude gestures and not minding your manners
You acted like so crazy and you'd say what does it matter
But over time I've come to find that really I just do not mind

'cause
You're so fresh and you're so fine
You're the one I've got to make mine
You're so fresh and you're so fine
You're the one I've got to make mine

You used the spill the ashtrays you used to break my dishes
You used to make me comply to your most outlandish wishes
You used to scare the neighbors until they's call the cops
You broke every single promise and you'd pull out all the stops
By taking the keys to the car without asking
You were tiresome troublesome trying and tasking
But over time I've come to find that really I just don't mind

'cause
You're so fresh and you're so fine
You're the one I've got to make mine
You're so fresh and you're so fine
You're the one I've got to make mine

You used to lie and cheat and steal and things I can't abhor
And even more outlandish things I don't wish to explore
There's not a single brothel from which you have not been barred
You've cut up all my furniture and thoroughly wrecked the yard
You've been evicted and expelled and even kicked out of the church
You've made lifelong pacts with close friends and then left them in the lerch
But over time I've come to find I really do not mind

'cause
You're so fresh and you're so fine
You're the one I've got to make mine
You're so fresh and you're so fine
You're the one I've got to make mine

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