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Seltzer Boy (Waterboy)

de Allan Sherman

Keep off the grass.
Children at play.
No deposit, no return.
No casting today.
Wait for the dialtone.
Do not fold, do not bend.
Do not open till Christmas.
Open other end.
No checks cashed,
Make deliveries in the rear.
Shake well before using.
This end up, my dear.
Close cover before striking.
Do not push, do not shove.
No shorts in the dining room.
Dump no rubbish, my love.
(Don't be a fool, don't be a fool, my love.)
Made in Japan.
Slippery when wet.
Save this wrapper to dispose of gum.
All sales final, my pet.
Do not write in this space.
Do not cross double line.
For external use only.
Inspected by number 29.
Curb your dog.
Keep away from heat.
Do not remove this tag
Under penalty of law, my sweet!
Speed checked by radar.
Positively no admission.
Oh my darling, if pain persists,
Consult physician!
My love gave me a sign.

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