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America's a Nice Italian Name

de Allan Sherman

America's A Nice Italian Name
I live in Italy, the sky is sunny.
'T'sa nice-a place. 't'sa nice-a place.
And if you think the way I talk is funny,
Shaddup-a you face. Shaddup-a you face.
America to me is not so foreign.
It's just the same. She's just the same.
Of course you have-a no got Sophia Loren.
Don't be ashamed, don't be ashamed.
Bella, bella, atsa means-a cute.
Vesta, Vesta, atsa motor scoot.
And if you in a nice-a mood for some-a nice Italian food,
Veal with cheese-a on it is Veal Parmigiana.
The opera house in Rome is called La Scala.
Is very strange. Is very strange.
Ten thousand lira makes a half-a-dolla.
You getta some change. You getta some change.
In Venice if you do a lotta driving,
Then don't-a forget, please don't forget,
Before you drive, go study scuba diving.
The streets is-a wet. The streets is-a wet.
Vino, vino, atsa glass-a wine.
You drink Yousef, I'll-a drink-a mine.
Vittorio DeSica makes a picture twice-a week-a.
Soup with macaroni is called-a minnestrone.
I wrote to Anna Maria Alberghetti.
She sings-a high. Up very high.
I typed the letter on my Olivetti,
I don't know why. I took a try.
Dean Martin, he's a nice Italian fella.
A friend of Frank's. A friend of Frank's.
If you give them a piece of mozzarella,
They tell you thanks. A thousand thanks.
Dolce, dolce, dolce means-a sweet.
Grapes is-a things-a you stamp with you feet.
The Tower of Pisa, she's-a lean. A Necchi is a sewin' machine.
Eat-a some lasagna, but-a don't get any on ya.
A nice-a painter was Botticelli.
He's very old, he's very old.
He's-a paint a lady with a naked belly,
She caught a cold. She caught a cold.
I know a man who wrote a song, "Volare"
He gotta cash. A lotta cash.
He took-a da cash and bought a new Ferrari.
He made a crash. His fender smash.
Gina, Gina Lollobrigida.
I love her, but que sera sera.
And if you see Anna Magnani with Marcello Mastroianni,
Ask if you could borra some spaghetti marinara.
Columbus was a nice Italian fella.
He had no boats. He needed some boats.
So he's fool around with Queen Isabella.
She hadda three boats. She give him the boats.
The queen, she said, "Columbus, pootchy-wootchy,
If you should land in some new land,
Please name it for Americus Vespucci,
'Cause he's a nice Italian man.
Nina, Pinta, and-a Saint Marie,
Fourteen-a ninety-two they sailed the sea,
They found the land and it was grand, and then Columbus he's proclaim:
"I call this land America, a nice Italian name."
(And that's-a why America's a nice Italian name.)

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