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I Was Hoping

de Alanis Morissette

As we were talking outside
It was cold, we were shivering
Yet warmed by the subject matter

My wife is in the next room
We've been having troubles, you know
Please don't tell her or anyone
But I need to talk to somebody

You said
Wouldn't it be a shame if I knew how great I was
Five minutes before I died?
I'd be filled with such regret
Before I took my last breath

And I said
You're willing to tell me this now
And you're not going to die anytime soon
And I said I haven't been eating chicken
Or meat or anything

And you said
Yes, but you've been wearing leather
And laughed and after said
We're at the top of the food chain
And yes, you're still a fine woman
And I cringed

I was hoping, I was hoping
We could heal each other
I was hoping, I was hoping
We could be raw together

We left the restaurant
Where the head waiter, in his 60s, said
Goodbye, sir
Thank you for your business, sir
You're successful and established, sir
And we like the frequency with which you dine here, sir
And your money

And when I walked by, they said
Thank you too, dear
I was all pigtails and cords
And there was a day
When I would've said something like
Hey dude, I could buy and sell this place
So kiss it
I too once thought I was owed something

I was hoping, I was hoping
We could challenge each other
I was hoping, I was hoping
We could crack each other up

I too thought that when proved wrong
I lost somehow
I too thought life was cruel
It's a cycle, really
You think I'm with drawing
And guilt-tripping you
I think you're insensitive and I don't feel heard

And I said
Do you believe we are fundamentally judgmental?
Fundamentally evil?
And you said yes
And I said I don't believe in revenge
In right or wrong, good or bad

And you said
Well, what about the man that I saw
Handcuffed in the emergency room
Bleeding after beating his kid
And she threw a shoe at his head
I think what he did was wrong
And I would've had a hard time
Feeling compassion for him
I had to watch my tone
For fear of having you feel judged

I was hoping, I was hoping
We could dance together
I was hoping, I was hoping
We could be creamy together

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